Decisions

It’s funny how every decision we make in our lives has potential life changing consequences. Even the seemingly simple or mundane ones. Here are a few examples.

Recently and quite sadly two recent graduates from our local high school were killed by a wrong-way (and drunk) driver on the interstate. Driving right down the center of a three lane highway, going the wrong way. Unavoidable for those poor kids. But small decisions they made put them in harm’s way. A lane change. The speed they were travelling. Leaving the moment they did from where they started. The route they selected. Any small alteration of those decisions and they continue about their lives as usual. [Obviously the decision by the idiot driver to get behind the wheel was the one decision we would like to have seen changed.]

The high school I selected has greatly altered my life. I am the oldest and I selected a private school while my sisters all attended the local public school. Almost all of my friends would not be my friends without that choice as most attended high school with me. I am certain I would not have selected the college that I did otherwise, where I met the remainder of my friends. I probably have ten real good lifelong friends. I would not have attended a party on New’s Year Eve 1984 if I didn’t know these people. If I decided to leave the party simply two minutes earlier, I would not have met the woman who is my wife. Our children would not even exist. You get the point.

Small and large decisions all shape our lives. They place us on a path and that path has many forks, most of which we cannot even see or know exist. We may not even realize we took one fork or the other.

So as it relates to our mutual interest here, every decision does matter. Do we go out? How do we present ourselves? I prefer considering what I wear as my “presentation” and not just the clothes I wear. Everything factors into how the world perceives us and therefore how we are treated by it. You can trace consequences back to some point where you had a choice. And even then, you may have made the choice that everyone would have made. Decisions, circumstances, fate, whatever you want to call it, life has a way of making things interesting.

That day in October 2014, when unconsciously I finally admitted what I am has greatly changed things for me. That realization was a subconscious event, I hadn’t been wresting with it, just was miserable with myself without really realizing so. Most of the subsequent changes and results have been very positive, but let’s not fool ourselves. It has its’ negative sides as well. If it didn’t, we wouldn’t congregate in places like this, we wouldn’t seek similarities with others. So strap it up and go along for the ride. But that simple decision you just made may change your life. If not, it will certainly chart the path you are on.

I made some poor business decisions in 2004. They were made in survival mode and have completely ruined my life. Yes, I absolutely do have a wonderful family and for that I am incredibly thankful. Yes, I do get to be Kandi. But being Kandi doesn’t matter. It’s window dressing. Helping others hasn’t done much for me, I guess. Being a good person in the world is not rewarded, despite what I may have said prior. I have talked about it recently, without revealing my secret identity, but my life has been turned over and I am simply numb right now. I’ll figure out how to move forward from here (this is not a health related issue), but am bitter. You will read posts coming up with me smiling, seemingly joyful. That person has died a little here recently. That person will never be the same. I am not going to do anything rash right now, but I am questioning everything. My time has to be put to a different use. What that is, I don’t know. The blog, for now, will go on. My life will as well, but not with that boundless optimism and the same joy I had. It’s lightning in a bottle. Grab it while you can because nothing is promised to us. Not even tomorrow……

from Kandi's Land https://kandis328772669.wordpress.com/2019/08/22/decisions/
via IFTTTSidor som bodycontact