The Difference Between “Dressing” and “Being”

What I am, what Kandi is, is not about “getting dressed”. It’s not about the clothes. It’s about being. I’ve talked in the past about how I generally avoid group gatherings of my peers because the conversation is more about being dressed and not about being. I put clothes on, I want to look pretty and I want to interact with society as a woman, not as the collection of clothing I have chosen to wear. I don’t wish to dive too deep into the psychology of why we do this. For some, the clothes are the end game, for others, a means to an end. What that “end” is, varies for all of us. My end game has changed quite a bit from pre-Kandi to Kandi day one to what it is now.

It was an item of clothing or a few, to putting together an entire outfit, to going out, to now BEING out. Now I have natural conversations with people where I am treated like (but certainly not thought to be) a woman.

An e-mail from a dear friend sparked this thought for me.

Hi Kandi,

I enjoyed your pictures with the Cleveland signs around the city. Do these signs ever get vandalized or damaged in some way? With all the demonstrations happening in cities, it’s hard to imagine they don’t.

Also, on a personal note (you don’t have to answer) I have noticed in some of your latest pictures that your “girls” are more prominent and accordingly you are wearing more low-cut blouses and dresses.

Do you have new forms or bras? Are you taking anything? (I hope not) Can you share your secrets with us?

I enjoy your blog so much.

Pricilla

My response.

Pricilla,

As far as I could tell, none of the signs had been damaged.  Most of the damage was done directly to businesses, buildings, etc.  I think the landmarks were spared.  These signs are standalone sights, away from where all the mayhem occurred.  Thank you for the lovely complement.  I had been wanting to do that for some time now.

I certainly don’t mind the question.  It’s me now with too much time on my hands.  I have not altered my wardrobe or choices at all.  Yes, I realize they are more prominent.  It is a function of a few things.  I don’t wear “forms” per se, I use inserts as any woman might.  I also almost always wear a push up bra, so the combination does the trick for me.  

I have a chest, which has pectorals, which I have allowed (with Mother Nature’s help) to soften.  I used to lift weights and now I generally do not, almost exclusively running.  As a result, my pectorals are more pliable than they once were.  I do also take a supplement, which I believe has helped in that manner a bit (I am careful and do not overdo it).  But when I am shirtless, no one is the wiser.  Most men my age have breasts.  Mine are solidly A cups.  I have done a few different things to push the tissue together and have used a bit of contouring makeup to make them look rounder.  Simple presentation improvements.

I absolutely don’t mind the question.  You are naturally curious and as we know, there is a bit of art to what we do.  I completely welcome the question.

What bothers me by some others is that they comment on them frequently.  If you saw a woman with nice breasts, would you say anything to her?  No, you would not.

I am simply continuing to evolve, that’s all.

I am so very pleased that you love the blog.  It’s a labor of love for me and it is work, but feedback like this makes it all worthwhile.

Love you, my dear!!

Kandi

You will never hear me say anything to a “peer” that I would not say to a woman. I will complement you on a dress, tell you you look pretty, things I would say to any woman. You will never hear me say anything about your breasts, hips, backside, etc. My view is that of being, not being dressed. Different strokes for different folks. I am just a different folk, I guess.

BTW, Pricilla, you are such a doll! Thank you.

from Kandi's Land https://kandis328772669.wordpress.com/2020/09/04/the-difference-between-dressing-and-being/
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