Time is on My Side

Linda asked…….

Kandi gets a lot of outings (so jealous) but would she do more if she could?  How much more Kandi time would she like?

First off, there is nothing to be jealous of here. As I’ve said many times, you generally get to see the Kandi part of my life and in that regard, yes, I am very blessed. I am not at all lucky, but with this regard, I am blessed. But in many other aspects of my life, you would not be so jealous, believe me. I am certainly also very blessed by my family and friends, but I have many other challenges I don’t go into here (although I have alluded to them). I am bearing down on retirement age but guess what? My funeral will mark the first day of my retirement unfortunately. While I have a good work situation now with a flexible work schedule, allowing Kandi to spread her wings, the job will always be day-to-day, month-to-month. I will have to work until I die, no question. I am not alone in that regard in our country, but it’s my reality. I am wired to provide and that occupies my thoughts each and every day of my life. It bothers me that my wife may also have to work until she dies to provide benefits, for reasons I won’t go into here, my ability to do that is unlikely. That kills me, believe me.

When I reflect on all the things that have happened to me since my October 2014 self-acceptance (read the “About” section for details), the one thing that I marvel at the most isn’t my Kandi exploits, it’s my running success. My Kandi exploits, the absolute truth, is simply common sense, thinking it through. Being smart, appropriate and confident. My running takes a level of skill, a skill I never had or was buried deep inside me. A skill that is fleeting, a twisted ankle, a ruptured Achilles, a sore foot, it all goes away.

When I allow myself to be jealous, it has nothing to do with our little hobby here. I have a friend, some one I would take a bullet for, who’s wife has a great job and a wonderful career, based on her hard work and success. We’ve known each other almost our entire lives (I was there when they met and pushed him to set up that first date). In that time, I have sweated every bill, our savings situation, investments, retirement funds, etc. Him? I don’t think he even knows how much the mortgage payment is. Nor is he worried about it for a single second. God bless him. THAT makes me jealous. That ability to live one’s life without that kind of worry. But I digress……

So now to answer the questions, would I do more if I could? Honestly, no. I get out three days a week generally. Given the realities of my getting out, the work, preparation and commute required to do what I do, I’m pretty good with that. If I could wave that magic wand and be dressed and in Kandi mode in a snap, then I’d probably go out every day. But the work it takes to turn me from a pumpkin to a princess (pardon the mixed metaphor) takes it’s toll. It also precludes me from doing some other things that I find of interest and/or probably should do to generate some additional income. So I’ll happily take what I get and hope it continues as it has of late.

This post was written quite some time ago, so as you will begin reading about tomorrow, I have made my first foray to The Keystone Conference. I had quite the time! Honestly, the Kandi “bucket list” is growing very short. I always look for the next new experience and continue to keep evolving into whoever and whatever I will become. It’s been one long, strange trip…..

Well in true Kandi fashion, I answered more than the actual question here, using the blog as a bit of a diary, but I do have an audience to entertain here….. Keystone Day One tomorrow.

from Kandi's Land https://kandis328772669.wordpress.com/2019/03/27/time-is-on-my-side-1/
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