How do you get out the house without your neighbors seeing?
I have been asked this question before, addressed before, but let’s talk about it again.
Good question. Before I answer, there are a few things you have to understand. People are all self-absorbed, they generally are more concerned with whatever they are doing than with you. Secondly, passing someone in an automobile is at most a one second experience. From the side, you are only visible from just below your shoulder on up. From the front, the steering wheel provides cover and if I put down the sun visor, you can only really see from my chin to the top of my chest. Also, try describing the person who just drove past you? You really can’t get much in that brief instant. I do also understand that many neighbors know what car their immediate neighbors drive.
All that said, I live at the end of a cul-de-sac, on a street about 1/4 mile long. One way in, one way out, that’s all. Our house is on the bend of the cul-de-sac, so many of the neighbors have a clear view of our driveway because of the curve. We do have an attached garage which helps. Finally, outside of my immediate neighbors to the right, none have small children (people with small children tend to be outside in the yard more often).
So, let’s say today is a Kandi day. First off, I try to time my escape properly. For example, get out the door on a church Sunday early, people tend to sleep in on Sundays. Or make sure I have cleared the street before the school buses arrive. Since we have the attached garage, getting in the vehicle is a private matter, no one sees me. Before I get in the car, I check the street. I would guess at least 8 out of 10 times, it is clear. I back out, close the garage door and move up the street swiftly (but within the speed limit), turn off the street and from there I am in the clear. It takes less than 30 seconds. If a neighbor happens to turn down the street while I am headed up (happens often), I flip down the visor and turn my head opposite of the person as they drive past. They either probably are unable to assess what I am wearing, therefore unable to identify me (remember, these are moving vehicles, with less that a second to make an assessment). They may think it’s my wife. Depending on what I am wearing, it may be difficult in that small window, to identify the type of clothing I am wearing.
Now if I see activity on the street, I grab my “boy bag”. I keep an old t-shirt, warm up jacket, sweats, socks, ball cap, sunglasses, shoes and makeup remover in the car in the event my car breaks down. I pull the warm up jacket over my outfit, remove my wig and earrings, put on the cap and sun glasses (covering my eye makeup) and off I go. I’ll hold my phone to my mouth to hide any obvious lipstick and no one is the wiser. I hate doing this because it requires me to pull over somewhere and replace the wig and earrings, but we do what we have to do. Thou shalt not embarrass thy wife!
When returning in day light and since I am getting cleaned up anyway when I get home, the wig and earrings are removed, the ball cap, glasses and warm up are in place and I wipe my face clean as I drive home. That I really don’t mind, gets a head start on the necessary clean up.
This sounds like a lot, but it’s not and I now do it instinctively. I also make sure when neighbors are out or around I am outside in male mode. Saying hello, chatting them up or at least off for a run. That keeps a masculine image of me in their minds so if they do see me dressed (remember, they have a split second to make a judgement) it won’t really register with them. I also rarely shave on non-Kandi days, which means perpetual stubble/my old grey beard. In that split second, people don’t have the time to think through my ability to actually shave, their mental image of me is with a partial beard.
We worry too much about all of this, I take precautions, but you have no idea what is on their mind, they might be running late, just had an argument with their spouse, whatever. They are not out trolling around to out you. There are only about five neighbors anyway who would know me to say hello, so those are the ones I worry about. Newer neighbors, living further up the street, I could care less, having driven past them frequently when dressed.
Be smart, that’s all!
from Kandi's Land https://kandis328772669.wordpress.com/2019/11/23/the-great-escape/
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